I made something pretty

And here I am second guessing myself. Not so much my abilities, but my desire to move in a certain direction.

I've been recently presented with a new job oppurtunity. I know that after the final interview this week they will offer me the job. I know this because I BELIEVE it. However, I'm not sure this is what I want. It's yet another step deeper into this "corporate america" thing. This new oppurtunity has the potential for more money, better training and other areas for advancement. Now I like the company I currently work for. It has great benefits, a great work environment and atmosphere, but I don't forsee any immediate opportunities for advancement. I've been in my current position for a little more than two years and I'm feeling as if I know this well enough to move on from it. It's no longer that IT thing for me. My spirit if urging me to try something different. A change of pace, if you will.

But I'm searching my soul to see if the new job with a different (larger, more corporate type) company is what I'm suppose to be moving toward. There are several unattractive factors about the new company. And several attractive things. I think it's about time for a pro versus con list. Because I'm feeling the clock wind down, this final interview is in a couple of days and I will need to make the decision really soon.

In less heavy news I've been keeping up with workouts several days a week. No set schedule but I push to get at least 3 days of workouts. Mondays I seem to get a workout in easy. And I try to get a workout in on one of the weekend days. That leaves me with 4 other days to choose from for my third workout. It's really not that hard and I feel good after EVERY workout. I haven't noticed any big changes in my weight or size. But I really can't be sure since I'm not weighing myself or measuring. Right now I want to continue to FEEL good about what I'm doing for my body. All that other stuff like pound droppage will come when it comes.

Oh, and I was tagged. I need to get batteries in my camera to complete the assignment. I hope to get that done next week. I was pleasantly surprised to get a comment from one of my favorite blogs tagging me, though unofficially. lol. So I'm much obliged.

Stylin'

My prayers go out to any and everyone affected by the tornados over the weekend. I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to have everything suddenly blown away. I think living in the city makes me take for granted that it’s not likely to happen to me. But I know tornados can and have hit in the city before.

Family time is some of the best time. We grilled at my place yesterday. My Kingman was such a wonderful help yesterday. While my mother, younger sister and I went to the thrift store in the morning, he cleaned the entire apartment and started cooking the food. And never did he complain. Our apartment is quickly becoming the family hang spot. Partly because we have more space than my mom’s place and my Kingman is allergic to my older sister’s cat. A brotha gotta breath, ya dig?

Lately I’ve been entranced with blogs and websites that display everyday street fashion. It’s inspiring and eye opening. Here I was thinking 80’s fashion was NOT gunna make a big come back, but after checking out this blog by Artistic Bling it’s all the rage in Brooklyn. But browsing these sites reminded me of how uninspiring the fashion community is here in Minnesota. While I don’t consider myself a fashion expert, I do take pride in my personal style and how it’s evolved over the years. I’ve found that my style is mostly inspired by the global community as a whole. I don’t have any hard fast rules that go with my fashion sense besides “no tight on tight crime”. Lol. My sister and I coined that term years back. I was browsing Hel Looks over the weekend and kept thinking “ok I’m NOT crazy for loving cardigans and skirts that go past my knees!” That site inspired me to finally purchase some tights (5 pair) so that I could rock my skirts and dresses at work and not break dress code. Ladies have to wear “panty hose” with skirts and dresses at my place of employment. My closet has several dresses that I love but haven’t worn to work because they show too much leg for me to get away with not wearing panty hose.

I stopped wearing panty hose some time in high school because they were so uncomfy and I would always snag them on something. I was such a tom boy, it’s a wonder I ever lost my virginity. Now I’m a bit more of a girly girl and can go a day without a snag. The real trick now is finding tights that properly squeeze over my thighs and butt. I must say, the pair that I’m wearing today have given me no problems at all.

I plan to re-read “The Secret” very soon. As soon as I find the book. A sista friend of mine is reading the book and it’s got me to thinking that I need to get my mind right again. It’s a great book to have around.

Spring has Sprung

While I haven't really MADE a lot of things lately, the creative juices are still flowing in my mind. My heart is really focused on clothing design and construction lately. I keep trying to figure out how to translate my 2D drawings into a 3 dimensional garment. It is, I believe, where the magic of fashion design lies. Peek my first pair of yoga pants. I made the pattern myself. I'm loving that sewing machine.

While all this is going through my head I've found myself more engulfed in fashion and styling itself. What makes an outfit fly? I've believed for some time that 95% of a fly look is the confidence and vibe of the person rocking it.

The colors of spring have inspired me to play with color more this year. I find myself again trying to phase out the color black in my wardrobe. It always finds a way to creep in. I think this is largely due to my dress code at work and the fact that I don't want' my eclectic look to frighten off unsuspecting business owners trying to apply for loans where I work. I figure they are paying me to do this job and appearance has some significance. I'm willing to throw on some slacks and a blazer everyday, but I don't want to give up my total fashion sense. I actually like dressing it up a bit around the office. However, the image I put forth in corporate America is only one layers of my fashion sense and there are times I really grow tired of given THAT layers more lime light. But Monday through Friday from 8am to 5pm that's who I have to be.

le sigh

Looking outside my windows is so calming to me. Nature is just so beautiful. I just realized today that we have two maple trees in the front yard. I'm guessing they are two types of maple trees. One of them has reddish leaves up top and basically anywhere the leaves receive direct sunlight. The picture there is from a few weeks ago (Mother's Day) and the tree has since become much fuller and redder at the top. The other maple has typical green leaves. Both are very beautiful and I'm happy to share my living space with them.

The family has also taken advantage of the beautiful weather and gone to the lake a few times. One of the advantages of living in the land of fifty lebbin lakes is that you don't have to go far to reach one.





My niece was over yesterday and I happily braided her hair. She's such a beautiful lil girl but she gets in plenty of trouble at school. I've been longing for a daughter of my own for quite some time. And I don't foresee having another baby anytime soon (unfortunately) so I think I'll have to have my niece over more often and pretend I have a daughter.

Old News

I was browsing the old myspace blog and came across a few that made me laugh or reminded me of some things I went through not long ago. I tend to use profanity in that blog. Something about myspace that makes a sista wanna cuss. lol

Reposts:
01 May 2007
Catching up with a rant...
Current mood: irritated
Category: Life

People who minimize MY issues just to make their own seem like thee most important thing in the world drive me batty. Where's the equality man? Being the victim all the time gets real old AND it gets you kicked off of Charm School. Nevaeh anyone?

I scraped my arm on a broken wicker basket this morning RIGHT before leaving out for work. Twas bleeding and all. So I just slapped a band aid on it to catch the body fluids seeping out. So my co worker asks me what happened when she saw my flesh colored band aid. Can anyone guess why she saw a flesh colored band aid on me? I told her what happened then she asks "did you at least clean it?" Uh that's a negative, roger that!

Someone complained that my locs look... well basically not so cute today. And it sorta hurt my feelings cause I was really feeling my locs today. What's with the notion that you have to do all this shit to your hair to make it presentable. I just don't want to put all that energy into my hair on a daily basis. I'm just going to WORK. Those people don't know what's going on with my hair half the time anyways. I didn't let the person know they hurt my feelings. Why bother, cuz they would have found a way to make their feelings more important anyway.

Why can't it ever be about ME?
"HARPO WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE!"

I mean can somebody, anybody pamper me for like a week? one week straight. And not complain and enjoy it like they expect me to do 365/52/7/24?? Seriously, I had an epiphany today. Not only am I a sister, daughter, mother, girlfriend, business services specialist... but I'm also a client, uh, I mean maid. Just call me Hazel. Or chocolate. DARK chocolate is more fitting. And sexy. hehehe


08 May 2007
feepee had a little lamb or "the one who farts with his arm pits"

I had a gyro for lunch. And I'm wondering if lamb counts as red meat. *scratches head* *sniffs fingers* MMMMMM! My head smells like a camp fire. I got this new Aveda shampoo which without reading the bottle I'm tempted to call "black fig oyster" but i'm SURE oyster is not in the name. My scalp and locs smell really good tho. Makes me wanna be like Becky and shampoo everyday. But alas, I'm much more like Bonequesha. Except if my head itches I scratch it. I don't do the pat the head cuz I don't want flaming scalp when I get my touch up tomorrow.
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My little Prince showed me this new amazing talent that he has. He's extremely proud of himself because he practiced and practiced until he could do it. Many may have thought it could not be done. But he is a genius. Really, he is. He told me a while back he knows everything. And I'm sure he believes that. Don't shoot my child's dreams down. He is all knowing. And now he can fart with his armpits. I can't even do that! AMAZING he is! *sips on fruit smoothie with ground flax seeds*
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Why can't I be like the tree and calm you with my leaves? Maybe if I'd just be still.
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UPDATE!!!! I get to keep MOST of my mother of pearly whites! I need a root canal. Possibly two but one is a wisdom tooth. I'm told a root canal on a wisdom tooth is difficult and it was recommended that I just remove it. *gasp* I have to think about that. I like my wisdom teeth, they have all been with me since I was 16.


24 May 2007
A CURSE 'PON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!!!
Current mood: In Pain

My sister says that to me sometimes. Well, she alternates between cursing both my houses and saying "yo mama!". It's ok. She was adopted anyways, so it's no big deal. hahahah!

Ok so I had that root canal this morning. On the real, I think I would have preferred if he had taken my tooth out. I can't friggin eat! I'm glad I ate a sammich on the way there or i'd be starving right now. But that's not the killer part. Cuz I could handle this involuntary fast if there wasn't anything good to eat. But I just made this bomb fried tilapia and jasmine rice thinking I could just chew on one side of my mouth. I've gotten use to that over the last few weeks. Well the problem is ANY pressure on that root canaled tooth hurts like hellifus. So you know the lil grains of the cornmeal find there way over there. And when I accidentally bit on that junk I bout cried. Partly cuz that fish is some good ishtar and partly cuz the pain made me wanna ball up in a corner with a knife and cut off the right side of my face.

I'd still be sexy tho.

I visited my lil Prince's class for a lil while this morning before heading over to the dentist. After they had breakfast and did there routine trip to the bathroom, one of the lil boys comes up to me and asks me to help him pull his shirt sleeves back down. So I noticed and commented to the lil fella that he had some ashy arms. Well dang, the lil booger actually knew what that meant. So to make him feel better I told him I have ashy arms too and proceeded to expose my ashen flesh. He laughed a little too hard at that one. I don't appreciate that! But I did my deed for the day by comforting a child who was fretting over the dehydrated skin. I should have whipped out some vasaline on him. Show him how it's done. But CLEARLY I did not have any or my skin would not have been in the state that it was in.

06 Jul 2007
Do dat hot dawg got pork in it?

That was the cry of my child the other day when I told him he could not have one. I guess he figured there must be a good reason for me saying know. And lately I've been explaining to him why our family does not eat pork products or drink cows milk and rarely indulge in dairy products as a whole. He thinks he's all edjumacated now because earlier this week while I drove to the gym with him and the nephew in tow, he drops some pork knowledge on the cuz. "pork meat comes from pigs and pigs play in the mud so you shouldn't eat it" Ok so he doesn't quite have the FULL understanding of why pork if off limits for us. But you can't blame the kid for trying to spread the knowledge. Shhhhh! don't tell him that his beloved carrots and broccoli come from the dirt. I need him eating his veggies.
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Tis truly a small world. When Paris Bennett's mama sings at your cousins funeral and talks about how they use to roll. You realize just how small of a world it is. Big Tiny was such a hilarious guy. And even tho the funeral had me crying and feeling sorrow, I found some comfort knowing that so many people's lives were touched by his presence on this earth. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From this point on I will speak/think/feel affirmations of positivity and Light into my life. Bless UP!

Excuse me while I take a dump- Brain dump

Insomnia is no fun. Stuck here awake with thoughts rolling around in my mind...

Tonight I ran a very warm bath with drops of tea tree oil and some cocoa powder. I lit an incense got naked and relaxed. That bath felt so good. I dosed in and out of lucidity filling my spirit with positive thoughts and energy. This ritual should be performed on a more frequent basis.

Tomorrow I'm up early to get my lil Prince ready for school and stop by the government center to see about this speeding ticket from a couple of weeks ago. My prayer is that a county clerk will show a little mercy and reduce the ticket and be so kind as to keep it from showing up on my record.

After all of that fun I'll be linking up with my sis to help her move. This is a huge transition for her, but I fully support her and I'm proud of the woman she has become and is becoming. She is a big sis I admire, love and enjoy annoying from time to time.

The last few days I've toyed around with this lovely hand dyed cotton yarn I've had for maybe a year now. I can't seem to find the right project for this yarn. I want to make a fly summer crown for myself but I haven't committed to HOW I'm going to construct this crown.

After work today my Kingman and I took the lil Prince to the park to play. The weather was cooperating so I obliged my son's request for outdoor fun. He met another young man there and we sat and watched my lil Prince's impressive social skills. I'm so proud to see him comfortable meeting new people and making friends. I'd like to take credit for his confidence but he is who he is. And he's amazing.

I've put in good workouts upstairs twice this week already. With all the moving tomorrow, that will count as a workout. I may get another in this Saturday for good measure.

Friday evening after work I have plans to braid my mother's hair. Then Saturday she and I are going thrifting! I'm very much looking forward to that!

Fortunately now I'm getting sleeeeepy.....

Good night and God bless all who come across these words!

Weekly Recap

Saturday: Lots of sewing. Didn't finish much, lol. But I spent most of the day sewing. Yes, my son's room was a mess, but he has the big mirror.



Sunday: I slept in pretty late and enjoyed every minute of it. Except the "not so feeling great in the belly" feeling. Fortunately my son and other half were respectful of my desire to sleep for as long as I could. When I woke up I made home made cinnamon french toast with eggs and boca sausages. It was an instant hit. I was motivated enough to workout upstairs for about 30 minutes. Later that day we went to my mother's house for some yummy bbq. The weather was beautifully warm and sunny. The kids has loads of fun playing together. I enjoyed chatting with my sister, aunt and mother in the kitchen. We were exhausted when we finally got home, but we all agreed it had been a great day.

Monday: I woke up feeling less than well and extreme fatigue had taken over. I sat in the bed for about 5 minutes after the alarm went off trying to convince myself to get up and start the day. But I decided to call in. I laid back down and my Kingman got the lil one ready and took him to school. I slept. The rest was just what I needed. My Kingman and I eventually ended up at the lake. We enjoyed the lovely weather and a stroll around the lake and had lunch together. After picking up the lil one from school we went home and relaxed. I decided to get a workout in upstairs for good measure. It felt great. It seems that every time I workout I'm more motivated to keep going. I feel great actually after working out. My body thanks me.














Tuesday: Happy Earthday!! My lil one has been looking forward to this day. Tuesdays we babysit my nephew for my mother. So after work and school we come home and have dinner. During dinner we all talk about Earth Day and what it means. My son says "it's about respecting the Earth!" Well said! We came up with ideas on how to be more concious of our environment and Earth. The kids really seemed into it. Afterwards we sat outside painting rocks into bugs. We talked about why bugs are so important. Even spiders (which I'm not a fan of). I suppose I should also mention that at work on Tuesday, a coworker blessed me with a knitting machine. I was very excited and truly grateful for such a wonderful gift. Hopefully this weekend I'll get a chance to figure out how to use it. I'm also hoping it will allow me to whip up some lovely baby blankets. Also I recieved a beautiful flower hair clip in the mail from a sista I know from Nappturality.com. I've worn it everyday since then.

Wednesday: Right now the only thing I really remember from this day is watching America's Next Top Model. And I remember thinking "why is this week going by so slow?" lol

Thursday: The little one had a field trip to the Science Museum and had a wonderful time. He really wanted me to go, and I really wanted to go as well but I didn't want to take anymore days off from work since I had been sick on Monday. My Kingman didn't want to go, which was disappointed. I wish he put forth more time at the lil one's school. But it seems he's just not as interested in parent involvement as I am.

Friday: The lil one did not have school so getting ready in the morning was a breeze. Work was very ho hum and I can hardly remember what happened there. Oh, for lunch I went to a Goodwill thrift store near by. I've been meaning to visit the thrift store by my job for a long time and finally just went. I scored a dress, skirt, a pair of pants for the lil one's uniform and an umbrella for him. All that for less than $19! By the time I arrived home my homegirl called me to tell me she stopped by the thrift store and for $11 she scored 2 pair of pants and some wedge sandals! Wow. Most of my productivity at work was during the previous days this week. I came home and made some delicious food. I made ginger coconut curry sauce complete with potatoes, onions and red peppers. I prepared brown rice, shrimp and chicken and poured the yummy sauce over it. My Kingman LOVES this dish. The lil one favors the rice and sauce and I usually have to make him eat some of the chicken. We chilled inside the rest of the night. The End!

Sew Inspirational

Last night I managed at least 45 minutes of workout in the attic. The majority of that time was spent on the punching bag. What got me through was my playlist of “workout songs” which had some high, medium and low tempo tunes to keep me motivated. A must for my workout music is the ability for me to sing along. I don’t know exactly what it is about being able to keep up with the song. I know that I have a good time when I know the words. The music gives me a rhythm to move and swing punches to. Having music also helps the time pass very quickly. My Kingman says he thinks I was going at it for at least an hour. I didn’t pay much attention to my start time, so I’m not sure.

The entire workout was so fun that I’m looking forward to squeezing in at least 30 minutes tonight. I plan to do my workout as soon as I get home. maybe while the lil one is doing his homework and my Kingman is preparing dinner. Then I’ll take a shower and wash my hair because today my scalp stinks. I have this thing about rubbing or scratching my scalp and smelling my fingers. I know I’m not the only one! But it’s a way to keep scalp stink in check. lol.

Since I’m planning to make the workouts a daily thing, I need to get a better hair washing schedule in place. I’ve been shampooing once a week for the last few months and holding off on rinsing. Now I’m anticipating more sweating (and my head gets its sweat on) and I think I need to up my mid-weekly rinse game. Shampooing daily is out of the question. And wetting my hair daily is too much of a hassle as it gets longer. I don’t do the soaking wet hair while i’m sleeping thing. I figure a mid-weekly rinse or conditioner wash, followed by some fat twists or bantus should do the trick. It should keep my scalp relatively clear of sweat buildup and my hair smelling fresh until my weekend shampoo.

The sewing momentum has slowed. I first jumped in ready to sew up a storm just because I have two machines and knew the basics of how to USE the machine. However as I searched my mind and heart for a first project I realized that I wanted to create quality, wearable, and sellable items. So I started researching more into all the different stitch options and why they would be used. I started reading the owners manual for the Kenmore machine I was gifted. Then I started researching patterns and how to read them because I want to verse myself in garment construction and pattern making in hopes that I would be creating my own patterns some day soon. Well of course being the instant gratification loving craftster that I am, I was feeling as if I haven’t accomplished much since I had nothing to show for my efforts over the last few weeks. However today I feel encouraged because I’m confident that once I start finishing some sewing projects they will be up to my standards as far as quality. So right now there is less focus on quantity. Especially since there IS no quantity. Lol

I’ve been devouring information and wisdom from various carft sites and sewing blogs. I’ve added a few new sewing blogs to my “Places I Like to Go” link list. I’ve always been inspired by the Sewl Sista #1 and flytie, and now I’m hooked on the Neo Sew Mama. I have a preference for Sistah blogs or in other words, blogs by black women. That’s not to say I don’t like sewing or craft blogs written and updated by white women. On the contrary I have several of them listed and hyperlinked. However I am most inspired by black crafters.

The time has come for me to make myself an alter. It will be my meditation space. I’m not quite sure where to start besides finding a space at home that will go undisturbed. I talked with my Kingman about this and I’m thinking I’ll take over a corner in our room and set up my alter. This weekend I hope to go thrifting, Saturday morning perhaps. I want to search for a scale for home use, a night stand or small table for my alter, a few skirts or dresses for work and fabric.

*update*

I ended up coming home a little later than planned, watching netflix and THEN working out for almost an hour. I concentrated on my lower body and lower back. I'm so proud of me! Still no washing or rinsing of the hair. I'll have to let my Ginger Juice & Berries hair dress mask any funk for another day. You MUST get up on that La'Vida Given by Nature.

Today I was blessed to run into a Goddess I attended college with. I stopped by the grocery store on my way home to grab some juice. Somehow between going down the wrong aisle and making sure my lil one didn't run anyone over I glanced up and saw a familiar face. Instantly her name came to me. I surprised myself with that one. I'm use to people remembering MY name, not the other way around. She had her handsome little prince and told me he had an identical twin. A double blessing! My spirit was very happy to have seen her. I remember admiring her creativity with words and her proud, confident spirit back then. We exchanged contact info and I plan to link up with her soon. I hope she brings the babies!