Wednesday, October 14, 2009

X Factor Replay

How quickly things can change. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Other times I think it is outside forces that make me think I am crazy. He and I are ending AGAIN. And I am heartbroken AGAIN. Why do we torture each other like this? Our love is like a battle. Lauryn really knew what she was talking about. I really want him to let go. For real this time.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Root

I recently (within the last month) joined a local gym. And I have reignited my love for working out. Particularly group exercise classes. I have made it a mini mission to try all the classes offered. This will help me mix it up and not get bored easily. It will also keep my body from getting use to the same activity over and over and again which could cause my weight loss progress to plateau. Right now I am committed to going to the gym a minimum of 3 days a week. Fortunately this goal has proven easy so far. I dropped an easy 6 pounds right away, and have been teetering back and forth with 2 of those pounds. My daily food intake hasn’t changed too much except I’ve practically cut out fast foods. As I make these small changes in my life to affect a greater change in how I love I realize this method works best for me. Tackle small goals and make them daily habits and I don’t see them as a challenge anymore. Just how I live.

I admit the last week I have slacked on preparing nutritious meals at home. So as I’m finding myself becoming a habitual gym-attendee, I need to focus again on planning and cooking meals at home. Inspiring Mama has some awesome 14 day meal plans on her blog. I plan to use them as a guide to planning my own meals at home. New recipes always jump start my cooking sprees so I will be researching some great soups and foods that incorporate yummy root veggies and fall foods. Sometimes there is nothing more comforting than a bowl of delicious soup! Well, besides a good yoga session.

Yoga is one of my new obsessions. Where has it been all my life? Really the question is, why have I been avoiding it. I’ve always been curious about yoga. Mostly because people who practice yoga seem to be a little too hype about it. I would think “it really can’t be THAT good.” Well I recently had to remind myself not to knock it until I’ve tried it. After my yoga classes I feel relaxed and invigorated all at the same time. I feel good about myself and my body. A surprise was FEELING the workout when I practice yoga. Last week’s class had me sweating. I didn’t know it was really possible. My flexibility has already increased after only a few weeks. I enjoy it so much and have incorporated it into my fitness routine. Once a week I commit to attending one of the yoga classes at the gym. I even bought my own yoga mat since the once at the gym smell like sweaty toes that marinated in the dark for 3 weeks unwashed. lol. I can just imagine the bacterial and fungal colonies populating those mats. No sir. I’ll bring my own thank you much.

On the love front it’s an interesting journey. He and I have really broken ground on some things we didn’t previously address. We have matured in a lot of ways and thankfully both realized we still have maturing to do. Our love has become stronger because of it. And more honest. This makes me very happy and gives me certain confidence that’s hard to explain. I just know that right now Love abides.

In reflecting on my live just over the last few months I see myself really working at building strong foundations in all areas of my life. Just putting in to action the things I’ve been saying I want to do. Doing them. And realizing the reluctance I previously felt was fear. And realizing the fear was of success. I’m learning not to fear the greatness within me.