Over the last month or so I've been in such a positive spot and then I allowed someone to take my joy for moment earlier today. I'm pissed at myself for allowing such madness to happen. And in my madness I lost my cool. And I really don't want to be that person. I don't like it when I allow someone to bring out anything other than the best in me. S0 I'm on a mission to get my chi back in order ASAP.
As I'm growing, I'm learning that in order for me to forgive others I need to forgive myself. I know I've struggled with forgiving myself for many years. Especially when I get in mode of focus. Right now the direction the Creator is taking me is so filled with promise. And day by day God's promises are manifesting in my life. It's like a party I don't want to ever stop. I have to make sure I enjoy every moment. And enjoy it presently. It feels good not to be filled with worry all the time. I give thanks for that.
I've been slowly cleaning and reorganizing the home after splitting from my former Kingman. We no longer live together. In all reality I love him and am trying my best to handle this split with dignity. But he does not seem to be handling it well and I must deal with the effects of that. I will say that I am very sure that not being with him right now is the best thing for me.
As I clear my mind, heart and physical space I feel renewed with a fresh sense of confidence in who I am and who I am becoming. I haven't felt it so sincerely in a long time. I've strived for it, but haven't felt like I dedicated myself to fully achieving it. If that makes sense.
I'm very much full of optimism and it's a feeling I don't want to let go of.
I give thanks to my Creator for every Breath of Light.
I dusted off the webcam and uploaded a video tag. Rather than ramble in text, I'll embed it here for your personal enjoyment.
I also did quick hair update via video blogging. Who says a sistah can't do it all?
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illuminating night
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6 comments:
I enjoyed your videos-they've made me curious about the voices of the other bloggers I follow. And, I'll have to try that apple cider vinegar on my children!
I wish you peace and clarity as your relatioship transitions.
I enjoyed reading your words, they have inspired me today. I am wishing continued peace and elevation sis! Love both of the vids!:)
T.Allen-Mercado, thank you so much for visiting sis. Be careful with the ACV and the eyes. Even the "fumes" can sting a little bit. When I wash my lil One's hair I have him hold a moist towel over his eyes and hold his head back. You may want to try this to avoid getting the ACV in their eyes.
TruEssence, I'm blessed that you were in some way inspired. Thank you for the positive vibes.
Your voice reminds me a lot of mine--it must be a Capricorn thing, haha! Glad to 'hear' and 'see' you doing well ;).
that burns me up so much when i allow that to happen...let someone take my spark. lately, though, i've been able to be conscious of what's coming at my, so i've been able to prevent it.
and there must be some sort of energy of change or *something* going around. as i'm catching up on blogs, i'm reading the same sentiments. especially among the sistas i keep up with.
i can certainly relate to what you said in the last sentence of paragraph 3 and the entirely of paragraph 4. ;-)
you can do it all i see! and you're beautiful. :-)
i'm gonna give box braids another try. somehow in the past they always turned out funky. the caption boxes and ringing phone had me rollin'!
laniza: you know how us cappies do! lol. I know I have a hint of valley girl, and I'm ok with that.
flytie: I'm so glad you get where I'm coming from. Nice to know I'm not alone with all this and I'm not the only one who has gone thru this type of thing. But I'm feeling good about life and what I'm doing with it right now.
And with the box braids, I've found that I like the way they are the more I rinse and wash them. Because they plump up a lil bit, but still keep the nice hang. But it's going on 4 weeks now and they must come down OR be refreshed. I'll try to update on what I decide.
Thanks for stopping by ladies!
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