Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I Don't Want to Wait in Vain

I was reading a blog by a sista on YMIB and she was pouring out her soul and sharing a situation with her and her partner of 5 years. She said something in one of her comments that struck me so deeply. To sum it up my interpretation of what she said: she’s spent all these years waiting for this man and helping him become a better person and achieve his life goals while she’s put her own off. And now she’s finding herself resenting him. And this is how I feel many times in my current relationship. Not so much that I’ve put off my dreams for him all this time, but the culmination of this relationship and previous ones where I’ve been there for my man to show my commitment to him bettering himself and not really feeling it in return. While my current Kingman says he fully supports whatever it is I want to do, I’ve found that my goals still take the back seat in the relationship because the details of his life take priority more than mine. So I’ve found myself more actively pursuing my dreams on my own rather than the strong concerted effort we both put toward his.

While I feel I’ve grown as a person, as a Goddess, I do believe that I haven’t been putting as much energy into the life path that I want for myself as I could have been. I mean this is MY destiny right? That is something I'm changing. I know that my life will move in the direction of my most dominant thoughts. So my thoughts are on growth, prosperity in every part of my life, and good health.

On the creative front I've finished a cute lil baby set. A sista friend of mine from waaay back in the clubbing days has been blessed with a pregnancy. The baby shower is coming up and I had it on my heart to create something rather than buy something ready made. I used this lovely wool yarn that's so soft on the skin. This set was certainly made with love. I pray the baby girl enjoys it.

I've also started a project for my mother. She wants me to sew 3 tunic style shirts to be used for praise dances. I've started two shirts already and I'm worried one of them may be too small. I'm still trying to work out some details but I'm very proud of myself for taking on this task. I plan to take some pictures of everything during the dances so stay tuned for that. Making the shirts has got me really itching to make myself a dress. There is some really lovely fabric at the fabric store. But I want to finish this project before starting anything else.

Work is going well. Why are my co workers being so nice to me now that I'm looking at other job opportunities? lol. Well they've always been great to be around. The other job opportunity is still in wait mode. I should be hearing from them this week. I'm so at peace with this now. Basically if the price is right, I'll take the new offer. Otherwise I'll continue my search.


No comments: