X Factor Replay

How quickly things can change. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Other times I think it is outside forces that make me think I am crazy. He and I are ending AGAIN. And I am heartbroken AGAIN. Why do we torture each other like this? Our love is like a battle. Lauryn really knew what she was talking about. I really want him to let go. For real this time.

The Root

I recently (within the last month) joined a local gym. And I have reignited my love for working out. Particularly group exercise classes. I have made it a mini mission to try all the classes offered. This will help me mix it up and not get bored easily. It will also keep my body from getting use to the same activity over and over and again which could cause my weight loss progress to plateau. Right now I am committed to going to the gym a minimum of 3 days a week. Fortunately this goal has proven easy so far. I dropped an easy 6 pounds right away, and have been teetering back and forth with 2 of those pounds. My daily food intake hasn’t changed too much except I’ve practically cut out fast foods. As I make these small changes in my life to affect a greater change in how I love I realize this method works best for me. Tackle small goals and make them daily habits and I don’t see them as a challenge anymore. Just how I live.

I admit the last week I have slacked on preparing nutritious meals at home. So as I’m finding myself becoming a habitual gym-attendee, I need to focus again on planning and cooking meals at home. Inspiring Mama has some awesome 14 day meal plans on her blog. I plan to use them as a guide to planning my own meals at home. New recipes always jump start my cooking sprees so I will be researching some great soups and foods that incorporate yummy root veggies and fall foods. Sometimes there is nothing more comforting than a bowl of delicious soup! Well, besides a good yoga session.

Yoga is one of my new obsessions. Where has it been all my life? Really the question is, why have I been avoiding it. I’ve always been curious about yoga. Mostly because people who practice yoga seem to be a little too hype about it. I would think “it really can’t be THAT good.” Well I recently had to remind myself not to knock it until I’ve tried it. After my yoga classes I feel relaxed and invigorated all at the same time. I feel good about myself and my body. A surprise was FEELING the workout when I practice yoga. Last week’s class had me sweating. I didn’t know it was really possible. My flexibility has already increased after only a few weeks. I enjoy it so much and have incorporated it into my fitness routine. Once a week I commit to attending one of the yoga classes at the gym. I even bought my own yoga mat since the once at the gym smell like sweaty toes that marinated in the dark for 3 weeks unwashed. lol. I can just imagine the bacterial and fungal colonies populating those mats. No sir. I’ll bring my own thank you much.

On the love front it’s an interesting journey. He and I have really broken ground on some things we didn’t previously address. We have matured in a lot of ways and thankfully both realized we still have maturing to do. Our love has become stronger because of it. And more honest. This makes me very happy and gives me certain confidence that’s hard to explain. I just know that right now Love abides.

In reflecting on my live just over the last few months I see myself really working at building strong foundations in all areas of my life. Just putting in to action the things I’ve been saying I want to do. Doing them. And realizing the reluctance I previously felt was fear. And realizing the fear was of success. I’m learning not to fear the greatness within me.

Shimmy all the way home

Today it rained. It was such a heavy and sudden downpour. my mind
quickly thought of my garden and how the plants would enjoy the
additional moisture.

Today was also the day of my first belly dancing class. I am starting
with the basics class since this is my first time taking it. Thus far
it is enjoyable and not difficult at all. I felt very comfortable
moving my body with such isolated movements. I was pleasantly surprised
to see such a diverse group of women in the class. The instructor has a
great sense of humor and I am looking forward to class next week.
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Extra, Extra! Read all about it

I finally sat down and typed out the bulk of my hair story. Stuff many close to me don't even know about. Check out a blog feature on me at Black Girl with Long Hair. Aside from blessing me with a great interview, that blog is super informative and inspirational. Check it out.

Part I

Part II

Love and Eternal Light to all!

What's New?

Shutter Click & Chat 5/10:

What's new?! Show me something, someone new in your life. I've been gone a while and I'd like to get caught up on what's new with you!

For the lovely Tea and Honey Bread... Above is a picture of my new tomato plants. I'm trying my green thumb at some gardening this year. I'm starting my tomatoes inside and plan to transplant them to the garden in a few more weeks. I'm blogging more about it (and other life changes) elsewhere. If interested in reading my other blog just leave a comment with your email or shoot me an email.

BLESS!

Reflections

I give thanks for such beautiful and inspiring people who cross my path. The last few weeks I've felt so revived. And I've been just LIVING. Motivation is high, but I must remain focused as well.

I went to orientation for my doula training. The first official training class will be April 25th. Before then I hope to do a little more reading and research to keep my mind and thoughts on what I'm trying to accomplish.

I've decided on a studio to take belly dancing lessons. The spring sessions overlap with my doula training so I await the summer schedule and plan to start then.

I have three weddings I'm excited to attend this year. One of which I am the maid of honor. NICE.

The weather is warming, the sun is shining and I have been trying to get outside to enjoy it as much as possible. The lil One and I have been reaquaiting ourselves with the neighborhood. The trees, birds, bugs and plants. I'm shifting more toward the life I want for myself and living IN it presently. My spirit is in a happy place right now and I find it hard to stop smiling.

I've also noticed that things have just been "working out" for me. I receive each blessing with gratitude. And give thanks to God for everything.

Right now I'm toying with the idea of moving my blog. Once I actually decide I'll post an update and let the regular readers know where to contact me in the case they would like to follow me to the new space.

Until Next Time

Bless!

Can't have one without the other

This one is for the lovely Tea & Honeybread. This is my submission for the

Shutter Click & Chat 03/22: Two
Show me a couple or pair of anything you deem shutter click and chat-worthy.

The story behind this photo is kinda cute. The lil Prince decided he wanted to lose his gloves two Sundays ago. I still have no idea where those gloves are. He had them before church and somehow they disappeared by the end of church. Well that following week we had forecasts for very cold weather, including a snow storm. And my child had no other gloves or mittens. He has this knack for losing them. Well the night before the big drop in temperature he asks me if I found him new mittens. I had searched in vain and no stores (not even thrift store) had boys mittens or gloves in stock. I told him that I'd make him some mittens that night and they'd be ready for him in the morning. My lil Prince has a creative mind and requested before bed that I make red thumbs. He thinks I can do anything.

So I did like any good mother would do. I tried to make it happen. I put in a dvd and got to crocheting. Fortunately for him I add the thumbs last on my mittens. And even more fortunate there was some red yarn in the scrap yarn. So he awoke to some "really cool" mittens with red thumbs. I am sooo SuperMom. Needless to say he loved them. And as of today, he has lost one of those mittens :|

Memories of the Little Elephant

The little one received a new book in the mail:





I did a video review of a Children's book and wanted to share here as well. Please check out the review and visit the website. This is an amazing book that I highly suggest all parents include in their child's library.

Title: Memories of the Little Elephant
Author: Nehprii Amenii
Illustrator: Nehprii Amenii
Publisher: Khunum Productions

www.nehpriiamenii.com

Tag and stuff

Over the last month or so I've been in such a positive spot and then I allowed someone to take my joy for moment earlier today. I'm pissed at myself for allowing such madness to happen. And in my madness I lost my cool. And I really don't want to be that person. I don't like it when I allow someone to bring out anything other than the best in me. S0 I'm on a mission to get my chi back in order ASAP.

As I'm growing, I'm learning that in order for me to forgive others I need to forgive myself. I know I've struggled with forgiving myself for many years. Especially when I get in mode of focus. Right now the direction the Creator is taking me is so filled with promise. And day by day God's promises are manifesting in my life. It's like a party I don't want to ever stop. I have to make sure I enjoy every moment. And enjoy it presently. It feels good not to be filled with worry all the time. I give thanks for that.

I've been slowly cleaning and reorganizing the home after splitting from my former Kingman. We no longer live together. In all reality I love him and am trying my best to handle this split with dignity. But he does not seem to be handling it well and I must deal with the effects of that. I will say that I am very sure that not being with him right now is the best thing for me.

As I clear my mind, heart and physical space I feel renewed with a fresh sense of confidence in who I am and who I am becoming. I haven't felt it so sincerely in a long time. I've strived for it, but haven't felt like I dedicated myself to fully achieving it. If that makes sense.

I'm very much full of optimism and it's a feeling I don't want to let go of.

I give thanks to my Creator for every Breath of Light.



I dusted off the webcam and uploaded a video tag. Rather than ramble in text, I'll embed it here for your personal enjoyment.



I also did quick hair update via video blogging. Who says a sistah can't do it all?

...with the quickness

Life has been good to me lately. Blessings overflow and for the most part I'm staying focused on goals (I bought a step machine!). Optimism is high, LOVE is strong.

I've been lurking sooo many blogs lately. I've also been buying shoes! Prayerfully more meaningful blogging will resume in the next few weeks. Until then, I'm still living.

Coming up for air

I've been in transition mode. And for personal reasons I made my blog private where no one can read it. I even contemplated deleting it all together. It's funny how a person thinks they know you after reading a few words. And it just aches my heart to know a person can be so ill-hearted as to try and use some positivity for negativity. But I've decided God will deal with that and I cannot control their nature. They will be who they are and I won't let that change the woman that I am becoming.

With that being said, I miss all of you in blog land. Hopefully I'll be back soon with a proper update on the goings on and a fresh new look-o-di-blog.

I give thanks to my Creator for giving me strength