Black Book

Last night my Kingman gave me THEE most amazing foot rub. It was certainly needed since I spent most of Saturday on my feet putting braid extensions in my older sister’s hair. Last week a good friend of mine gifted me two (yes TWO) sewing machines and a storage container full of fabric. What a blessing! So this past weekend I got a chance to play around with one of the sewing machines. I’ve even got a little project in the works. I’m still in the designing stages, but very excited about what may become.

In the interim I’m still drawing up and writing down ideas in my little journal. I’m also compiling links of sewing projects I’d like to try. I’m eager to try a pair of pajama pants for the little one.

This week my lil one is out of school for spring break. He’s looking forward to going to the lake and riding his bike. And he’d like to go fishing. That’s not very likely since the lakes are still frozen. In fact it’s snowing today and I here there will be a few inches when it’s all said and done.

A few weekends ago my lil Prince and I attended a birthday bash. I was clever enough to snap a pic of me and my fro and some random Muppet character on my head. Chuck E Cheese is a set up! I spent all my tokens on that jack pot game. Why????

Last night my Kingman gave me THEE most amazing foot rub. It was certainly needed since I spent most of Saturday on my feet putting braid extensions in my older sister’s hair. Last week a good friend of mine gifted me two (yes TWO) sewing machines and a storage container full of fabric. What a blessing! So this past weekend I got a chance to play around with one of the sewing machines. I’ve even got a little project in the works. I’m still in the designing stages, but very excited about what may become.

In the interim I’m still drawing up and writing down ideas in my little journal. I bought the little black journal on etsy from this shop. It's handmade of course!

I’m also compiling links of sewing projects I’d like to try. I’m eager to try and make a pair of pajama pants for the little one. I was thinking of making a miniature prototype.

This week my lil one is out of school for spring break. He’s looking forward to going to the lake and riding his bike. And he’d like to go fishing. That’s not very likely since the lakes are still frozen. In fact it’s snowing today and I here there will be a few inches when it’s all said and done.

Stirred, not Shaken

The other day I made the most delicious stir fry ever . The aroma drifting through the house was enough to make my Kingman grab the camera and snap some (really unflattering) pictures of me.

The stir fry was comprised of noodles, lots of veggies, onions, cilantro, red and yellow bell peppers, other seasonings and teriyaki sauce. Good stuff! My lil one gobbled up all his broccoli first. I had to make him eat some of the chicken breast pieces. He's never been big on eating meat, which isn't really a bad thing, in my opinion. In an effort to get the family back on track with eating I've been preparing vegetarian meals for breakfast and lunch. And reserving meat for the dinner meal. No one has complained just yet. And this week, we've eaten primarily vegetarian because we had pinto beans for dinner two of the nights.

*note to self: buy a wok asap*

I started off this week still in a slump. I called in sick to work Monday. Wait, did I already blog that?? Well Tuesday I came to work still not feeling great emotionally. My motivation was non-existent. So much so that my nearby co-worker (Katie) was absorbing some of the negative energy. She convinced me to go ahead and treat myself to a pedicure for lunch. I love Katie. That was such a great idea. I came back to work on cloud 9. I must start pampering myself on a regular basis. I did the foot spa and pedicure. I think my toes look pretty.

I've been feeling fly the rest of the week. Check out how black and fluffy my fro is below! An elder woman approached me today and complimented my hair and went on to say how she has never been able to achieve the style. I explained to her the simple process to achieve a chunky twist out and she was a bit in awe. She also told how she recently cut her afro down to a TWA (teeny weeny afro) because she just couldn't figure out how to style it. She had an endearing vibe about her and I was moved to offer some assistance. Beautiful woman, she was.

Oh ya like that yoda speak?

I gave her my card and jotted down my cell number and 2 different website addresses. I gave her the addy for www.nappturality.com and www.LavidaGivenByNature.com

Nappturality has a wealth of information on how to care for, style and enjoy your natural hair. And Lavida Given by Nature has some of the best natural bath and beauty products I've ever tried.

Speaking of hair, I was pleasantly surprised when I realized my hair had grown a healthy length from last summer when I cut my locs off. I've been rocking puffs and chunky fros for the past month almost exclusively. On the weekends I usually have my hair wrapped in a scarf. I'm looking forward to rocking some fly fro styles this summer with my pretty toes.

LmNOP

I had planned to come home, eat some pinto beans and cornbread, check my email then go to bed very early. But then plans changed when I realized The Biggest Loser was on tonight. So I told myself after eating my beans I'd watch THAT then go to bed. But then they were showing previews for Law and Order SVU. And I told myself I just can't miss this episode cuz it's the episode Mariska slaps that shit outta another character. That little clip gives me so much joy. I want to do that sometimes.

Just slap the shit outta somebody. But not in the face. Just across the back of the head like she does in the preview. OMG, you can tell it was a real slap too. I jump and giggle everytime I see it.

I didn't go in to work yesterday. It was just a long weekend and a long drive to and from Kansas. My mother put another sibling to rest. But she (and I) reconnected with such a wonderful beautiful family. I definitely want to revisit Kansas and spend some time with the rest of my family. They were just so generous, loving and welcoming. Made me feel so good.

I wasn't feel well yesterday so I stayed home most of the day. But I went to my son's school the second half of the day to give the kids a hot chocolate party as promised. And I must say, those kids are a handful. Between the crying, lying and calling of the police they still managed to touch my heart in a special way. I don't think I'll be sending my son back to HLA next year. I may blog on the reasoning for that later.

So tonight didn't go as planned. I ate my beans and also had some icecream and a brownie (or two). Watched Biggest Loser and some of SVU. Now I sit here tapping away. Wow I just noticed the "m" key is working properly again. That's great.

Guided by Light

I'm seriously wanting to be home right now. Or anywhere but work. I'm growing disinterested in my job. This has just started happening over the last week. I'm not completely sure what it is. I know I closed a big deal a couple of weeks ago and have been working on other things. Work just isn't giving me joy lately. I enjoy the company of my co-workers, just not the work right now. I'll see if I feel differently next week.

This Thursday the family is driving to Kansas to attend the memorial service of my uncle. This is my mother's eldest brother who I do not personally know. I just know that I would like to support my mother through this ordeal. I know she likes to appear to be the strong sister. But after seeing how she broke down at my aunt's funeral last year, I know that losing a sibling is much harder for her than she lets on.

God give my mother peace while dealing with this loss. And allow me to be of some comfort to her.

I'm looking forward to the time away from work. I need to take a REAL vacation. And very soon. And I believe very soon I will.

Lately I've been reflecting on this mood change with regards to my 9 to 5 gig. My heart is telling me to start looking for work elsewhere. I will oblige. I'm just not sure where else I should be looking. I feel like I want to get out of the finance world. I've been dealing with finance, credit, other people's money and financial problems for about 10 years now. It's getting old. The money is good, and the company I work for is a blessing. But I haven't been able to shake this feeling of boredom and disinterest in my job over the last few weeks. I feel the need for change.

I ask my Creator to guide me by Light.

Breathing some Light

I was so excited that a little bit of snow had melted and it was warmer than it has been the last few weeks. So excited that I took my lil Prince's bike over to the gas station and put air in the tires. We were outside for only about 30 minutes, but it was 30 minutes fully enjoyed by us both. I had the chance to breath some fresh air in the little bit of daylight left. He got a chance to learn to ride the bike. Win-win situation.

This logging of the food is sorta fun. It's quite eye opening. I totally messed up and drank about 400 calories this morning in the form of a Panera Bread Pumpkin Spice Late with soy milk. The only nutrition info I could find on it was for low fat milk. And I'm sure the soy option had less fat and calories, but I don't know for sure. At any rate, I need to stop drinking calories.

I'm finishing off the night with a bowl of collard greens. No meat, or salt added. And it's super delicious!

At the speed of Light

There are times I observe the people around me and I find myself feeling left behind. As if the things someone else has accomplished or is moving toward in this life are things I should go after. It is in these times I must remind myself that everyones path is their own. Meaning I cannot make myself too concerned with the life path of other because I have one of my own. I have goals, gifts and a destiny of my own. And it is no more or no less divine than anyone elses.

I must continue to move at my own pace toward my own purpose. I guess I get more concerned when it seems someone has found their purpose and are living it fearlessly. I question myself, "Are you living your purpose fearlessly?" And if in that moment I feel the answer is now, I feel a bit down. My spirit starts to get anxious. I want to drop everything and just live, create, give forth all positive energy, be fully in the Light.

Oh, my heart gets so heavy in times like that. In times like these. What ifs start to cloud my mind. What if I would have? Maybe I should have... I can only pray and ask the Universe to guide me. To continue to guide me toward what is truth and Light for me.

God I give myself fully to you and I pray for courage to go forth in your Light. I pray for patience to move forward at the speed of your Light and not out of anxiousness or envy.


Moving On

So I've been trying to visualize my health goals. A few years ago I was much more diligent about what I ate and keeping physically active. With lots of hard work and the elimination of animal flesh from my diet, I was able to achieve the arms I've always dreamed of, and a stomach that I very much envy now. I WILL achieve this again. However, I'm not sure how long it will take or how difficult it may be. There are a few things I must consider. I am eating animal flesh again and realistically it will be very difficult to discontinue that when the rest of my house hold still eats meat. And to be quite honest I'm not sure how much of an affect a vegetarian diet had on my ability to get in that type of shape. I can say that during that time I kept a food log and worked out 3 to 4 days a week for at least an hour each day. I need to look into buying a reasonably priced scale for home so I can better track my weight loss. I will continue to keep my food log. I will gradually increase my daily physical activity. And I will start taking my measurements and keeping track.

I'm going to print out a copy of an inspirational photo such as the following and pin it up at my desk at work. And maybe somewhere in my bedroom. It will serve as a reminder of why I'm making the changes that I am, and reassurance that I CAN do this.

Check my out with the short hair and mid drift showing. lol.

Biting the Bullet

And it tastes funny.

What does that mean anyway? I need to look that up.

Well, I’ve decided to go ahead and do something I’ve been dreading for a while. Which is to start keeping a food log. I know deep down I need to do this to get a better handle on what I’m consuming from day to day. I know I have a snacking addition. I know I have an emotional eating problem. I know there are times when I just plain over eat, eat too fast, don’t pay attention.... I KNOW!!! So I’m doing something about it.

In the past I’ve used a website called www.fitday.com and it really helped me keep things in perspective. There are things the site allows me to track that are important to me. I can get as detailed as I’d like in tracking my weight loss, physical activities and food intake. So I’m going to use that site again. I already started logging my intake today and wow... I’m already on the fast track to obesity. Seriously, I must get a handle on this. It's surprising how quickly those calories and fat add up.

Fortunately seeing what I've realistically eaten today motivated me to partake in some physical activities. I hit the heavy bag, did some sit ups and some push ups today. It was some sort of sporatic workout frenzy. Something is better than nothing. But I'd like to get into a meaningful, organized routine.

In crochet news, check out the start of a recent custom order. This will end up as a pair of dark blue wrist warmers. Another part of the order is a pair of black wrist warmers for a guy. I’ve started those as well. I’m making them in a different pattern than these so they look more masculine. Also the black ones will have a thumb hole. Because of my recent custom orders I’ve gone out and bought new yarn. Which is fun for me because I love new yarn. But totally not what I originally planned because I’m trying to get rid of most of this acrylic yarn stash. But I didn’t fully consider that winter is not over and wrist and arm warmers are nice even into spring. Those spring days can get chilly too! My customers want the warmers, so they shall have them.

I fooled myself into thinking I'd actually have the chance to crochet during my lunch break at work. Well, this week I haven't really taken a lunch break. I've been eating at my desk or on the road. I'm working on a couple of big loan requests and it seems like there is always something that needs to be done, updated, commented on, written up, etc. I enjoy the fast pace nature my job sometimes offers. But sistah is about ready for a vacation.