Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Guided by Light

I'm seriously wanting to be home right now. Or anywhere but work. I'm growing disinterested in my job. This has just started happening over the last week. I'm not completely sure what it is. I know I closed a big deal a couple of weeks ago and have been working on other things. Work just isn't giving me joy lately. I enjoy the company of my co-workers, just not the work right now. I'll see if I feel differently next week.

This Thursday the family is driving to Kansas to attend the memorial service of my uncle. This is my mother's eldest brother who I do not personally know. I just know that I would like to support my mother through this ordeal. I know she likes to appear to be the strong sister. But after seeing how she broke down at my aunt's funeral last year, I know that losing a sibling is much harder for her than she lets on.

God give my mother peace while dealing with this loss. And allow me to be of some comfort to her.

I'm looking forward to the time away from work. I need to take a REAL vacation. And very soon. And I believe very soon I will.

Lately I've been reflecting on this mood change with regards to my 9 to 5 gig. My heart is telling me to start looking for work elsewhere. I will oblige. I'm just not sure where else I should be looking. I feel like I want to get out of the finance world. I've been dealing with finance, credit, other people's money and financial problems for about 10 years now. It's getting old. The money is good, and the company I work for is a blessing. But I haven't been able to shake this feeling of boredom and disinterest in my job over the last few weeks. I feel the need for change.

I ask my Creator to guide me by Light.


Anonymous said...

Wow, we must be on the same wave of some sorts. I am sorry to hear that your mother has to go through this. Losing a loved one is never easy. The similarity here is that one of my classmates told me her uncle just passed and that she was going out of town to attend the funeral this Thursday.

Work does have it's pros and cons when your not completely satisfied or just plain "bored". I understand where your coming from. I had to pray about it. I had to pray and tell God that I wasn't ungrateful for the money that he allows me to make to attribute to my household and well being but that I was just bored and wanted to live in a way that would allow me the peace of mind to wake up happy to go to work. Well, my answer came in the form of my husbands words. He's from the West Indies so he's able to see from the outside. He said that it's society that tells us we should wake up every morning happy to go to a job, and that we have to do a certain thing and live a certain way. Just remember, he tells me. "God does things to teach us, to help us and so on. So before you go on about how bored your are, look a little closer at your blessings. Think about where it is we're trying to go. What it is we're trying to build. All the stuff we want to do."

As he was talking, I could feel the confirmations flowing. Yes, it was a blessing for me to get this job. Yes, it is a blessing for me to make the kind of money I make. And yes this job is a big part of us being able to build, save, and live our lives the way we want to live it in the long run. I realized that even though I'm not go lucky when I wake up to go to work, I am so grateful to wake up. And even though the job doesn't excite me the way I think I would like to be. I am so very grateful to be to provide, attribute, save and plan for the future. This is no cliche, God is good all the time. His time is better than our own. Patience.

Breath of Light said...

I'm still praying about work. As you said, I'm very grateful to be working and the blessings that flow from the mere fact that I have a job. I will continue to pray for guidance in this whole ordeal. Thank you for your encouraging words.