The Typical New Year Post

I give thanks to my Creator for yet another 365 days gone by on the American calendar! I guess I don't give thanks for another year until my bornday. And that is coming up in less than a month.

I give thanks for relatively good health, beautiful family, supporting friends, sisterhood, loving relationships and so much more.

I've been coming back and forth getting ready to post and changing my mind because I've had so many things on my mind. I figured I needed to find a time when I just have the energy and a clear mind to just type it all out. A few moments ago I figured, WTH, just DO IT! And here I am. Well enough of the excuses. Time to get down and dirty.

Goals for 2008
1. Make this life a healthy one, on purpose: A specific part of this goal is to absolutely lose at LEAST 10lbs by the end of the year. See now that seems SOOO easy, right? I mean I got 365 days to do it. You'd think I could drop less than one pound a month easy? Well I'm sure I could if I tried. But I really didn't for most of last year. 2008 it will happen and you wanna know why I'm so sure? Well lemme tell ya! First my Kingman and I plan on having a heavy bag by the end of January. Period. Actually I plan on having it in the next 2 weeks. lol. I'm so serious.

Having this piece of equipment will allow me to get an intense cardio workout as well as strengthen my CORE. BAM! I also plan on getting my yoga "stuff" shortly afterwards. We went up to take a look at the attic again. It's cold outside and therefore cold in the attic. So we'll buy a space heater to have on ONLY when we are up there working out. We have the area picked out for the heavy bag and a separate area for the yoga and stretching. Finally there is a third area that may later host the future weight bench.

2. Take a first time home buyer course. This is one of the many steps I'm taking toward owning a home. But I've put off this task for much too long. There is nothing stopping me from doing it. It will only cost me a lil bit of time.

3. Incorporate daily meditation time. Key word is DAILY.

4. Spend more productive time with my Lil Prince. This will come into play more in the summer and on weekends. Now it's a bit easy to get that productive time in because after I pick him up we come home, help with homework, read some books and sometimes get a board game in. In the summer I want us out of the house more going to the park and library like we use to.

5. Find more ways to express my love and appreciation to my Kingman. I've struggled with this since I met him. I have deep rooted issues that sometimes hinder me from expressing deep emotions to people. And for me, it's especially important that my mate know how deeply I care for him and love him. I hate that sometimes he has to wonder how I'm feeling. So, I'm not totally sure yet how I'll do this, but I will.

6. Create, create, create! Nuff said.

7. Get out of Minnesota for at LEAST 3 straight days. We've been saving and paying off stuff so much we have hardly thought about taking a lil vacation somewhere. I'm totally content with a simple road trip somewhere a few days. My Kingman and i always love Chicago and may revisit again. Very soon, I hope.

Sneaky Peek

Just a picture of my finished arm warmers and the start of my matching panta. It's not knit, but sure does look like it! It's crochet and I'm very excited about finishing the set. More pictures an details to come later.

Bless!

Something is Fishy

I've started crocheting wrist warmers to go with my fly pea coat. A few weeks back I scored a trench style pea coat from the thrift store in a royal purple. I love the fit of it. It is thick enough to warm me up during the Minnesota winters, and sophisticated enough for me to wear to work regularly. I love that it's long since I like to wear skirts and boots in the winter to work. The greatest part was that the coat only cost me $7!!! So the catch is that the sleeves are a few inches too short. BOOOO HISSSSS! Not defeated, I decided that I would just buy the coat and crochet myself some lovely wrist warmers to wear under the coat. It took me a couple of weeks to figure out what type of stitch pattern I wanted. But I have that down and I've started. Sorry, no sneak peeks just yet. Hopefully I can snap a couple with my cam phone tomorrow.

Earlier this week I went ahead and made my version of the Tilapia with Spicy Mango Salsa. I improvised a LOT. So I will just say my dish was inspired by the recipe. A few of the modification I made were as follows:
*I used plantains instead of bananas
*I used organic tomato basil broth and veggie broth in the black beans for a different flavor spin. I also would like to point out that adding tomatoes or tomato soups to bean dishes is the biz! I learned that trick a few years ago. And whenever I make my pinto beans in the slow cooker I try to add that ingredient.
*Organic brown rice was used, instead of yellow rice.
*I used a pineapple blend juice (100% juice not from concentrate) instead of lime juice in the mango salsa. I was so sure I had bought some a few days ago but was wrong. And I didn't want to go ALL the way back for lime juice I hardly use.
*I seasoned my tilapia almost totally different. But I stuck with rubbing paprika into the fish. This is something I will incorporate into fish dishes in the future since it added a flavor we haven't tasted before.


My interpretation of the dish was very delish. Um.. jeepers, that rhymed. lol. My lil Prince and my Kingman enjoyed the meal. And I'm not just saying that. Take a look for yourself! I will definitely make this dish again. Maybe one day the same as the recipe. lol.

I TOLD YOU!

Well I made the corn soup last night. Very yummy. My lil Prince ate most of his. The last time I made this dish I added the amount of cilantro called for in the recipe. Well, it was a bit much for the child. He told me, "mama, the soup was ok except all the green things in there". So this time around, less cilantro. Other modifications I made were to reduce the amount of cheese used by half a cup. And I increased the amount of vegetable broth by half a cup as well. As I did on the first go round, I left out the flour and sour cream. I added a little bit more of the black beans since my family likes them. Finally, I added curry powder to the mix. If you didn't know, curry is good on almost EVERYTHING. I was so proud of how the dish looked. And I snapped a quick picture before digging in. Those are white corn tortilla chips with a hint of lime. I wanted flour tortillas with a hint of lime. But my Kingman could not find them at the store.

Today for lunch I had leftovers. I'm telling you, that soup is even better reheated! Tonight's dinner will be simple. I'm not sure WHAT yet. But I'm so tired that I don't want to put too much effort or time into dinner.

In hair news, I'm rocking a twist out from large twists I put in my hair Sunday night. What I ended up doing was rinsing out the honey and olive oil mixture. Then I proceeded to shampoo my hair with Aveda Mauve something or other to try and make the black color that is growing out pop more. Note to self, that shampoo cleanse just fine, but does nothing for the black hair color. I used my cheap suave conditioner. I believe it was Honey and Coconut scented. I put loads of conditioner in my hair then proceeded to de-tangle using a wide tooth comb and my fingers. I concentrated on getting shed hair out of my head. The reason for this is because it tends to gather at the tips of my hair in balls and knots. It makes de-tangling more of a hassle than it needs to be. But that is what happens when I go weeks without de-tangling while still rinsing and washing daily.

As I de-tangled sections of my hair I put fat twists in my head. I ended up with about 20 fat twists. I rinsed out the conditioner with the twists still in place. I used a t-shirt to blot my hair dry of excess water. I grabbed my container of Ginger Juices and Berries hair pomade (http://www.lavidagivenbynature.com/) and used that to (gasp!) oil my scalp. Ok people I have not done that in at LEAST 10 years. Maybe even more. But lately I've noticed I have a dry scalp problem and something needed to be done. I can't continue to wet my hair EVERYDAY in this cold weather and expect my scalp not to suffer. The air is so dry at home and the office so I had to do something t combat winter dryness. So I used the pomade to oil my scalp and moisturize my hair.

Wait, I take that back.... The hair pomade is oil based. So the oil doesn't really MOISTURIZE, but it does help lock in moisture that is there. After the shampoo, conditioner and water the oil pomade helped to keep that moisture in my hair. I used very small amounts on may scalp and each twisted section. As I took down and oiled each fat twist, I split them into 2 to 4 smaller twists. These twists were still rather large. I think I ended up with about 50 total twists when all was said and done.

I wrapped my hair in a satin scarf and went to bed. The next morning I unravelled each twist, then separated each unravelled twist with my fingers. This process was easy and quick. My hair, even now, is very soft and light. I have a fluffy black cloud on top of my head. I plan to wear this twist out all week and hopefully put some flat twists in this weekend and wear head wraps until Monday. This is a picture of what my hair basically looks like today. I've wanted to achieve this style every since I cut off my locs months ago. Now I need a new goal to reach for.

Big afro, here I come!

I give thanks to my Creator for another day. Bless up!

Eaterie

I took a couple (literally) of pictures of food I prepared in the last week. They are camera phone pictures, so if they aren't very clear you can buy me a digital camera. *wink*

The first is a picture of salmon croquets with salad and fettuccine afredo. This was a hit for the whole family. I tell my lil Prince that the salmon is Crabby Patties a la Spongebob Squarepants. The funny thing is, he knows there isn't any crab meat in it. He knows the difference in taste between salmon and crab meat. But he goes based off of the appearance. He still insists it's not a REAL crabby patty because there isn't a bun, tomato, lettuce and pickle. The salad has sunflower seeds and a poppyseed dressing that's really tastey! It's a combo of prepackaged mixed baby greens and some baby spinach.

Next is a photo of baked tilapia, jasmine rice, sweet corn and broccoli. This was also a hit. I'm so glad my lil Prince loves his veggies. He won't eat a lot of meat, but he knows that eating his veggies makes him strong and healthy.

For the next week, I've bought ingredients for this Fresh Corn Soup recipe, and this Tilapia with Spicey Mango Salsa. Yes, my family loves tilapia. You can do so much with it. And this is a fish that absorbs the flavor of herbs and spices so well.

I've gotten so much cleaning and organizing done this weekend. Yet there is so much more to do! Our new couch is set to arrive on Tuesday and we committed ourselves to clearing and unpacking ALL the boxes. My Kingman has done ALL of that work so far. What's left is clothes that either need to be donated, trashed, or put away in the closets. I will make sure that gets done by tomorrow night! I will, I will. For now I must figure out what to do with my hair.

I initially planned on wearing protective styles like twists for the winter. Well I love my fro so much I was like "forget that man, i'm froing it out!" Well, not so much anymore. After exposing my crown to the cold, harsh air of Minnesota it's crying out. As I sit here my hair is soaking up olive oil, honey and a little water as a pre shampoo treatment. I have it covered with a plastic bag (hey, I like to recycle) and then a head wrap. I may just sleep with it like this. But what I SHOULD do is wash it, and then twist it up. Hmmmmm, it's getting pretty late. I fear I'll start twisting and never finish. And I don't want to show up at work half twisted up. lol. We'll see what happens.

Gluten and Maximus

Yes, the blog title has something to do with the post.

I’ve had an apple sitting at my desk all week. And there isn’t a good enough reason why I haven’t eaten it. I’ve been hungry sitting here at my desk. I’ve needed more fruit intake. It’s been right there in plain sight. Yet, I’ve snacked on chocolates to get my sweet tooth fix. When this perfectly formed and nutritious Fuji apple would have done the trick. My discipline is off once again. And I intend on getting it back in gear. For real, for real. I brought an apple for my lunch today even though I have the apple from earlier this week. I’ve already eaten one apple with my peanut butter and jam sandwich. This (old) apple will be my afternoon snack tomorrow. I will eat it and enjoy every sweet bite. It’s really all I need to curb my sweets craving. If that’s not enough I have a small bag of microwave kettle corn popcorn. MMMM! It’s better than a Twix! I suppose my concern right now is not calories. I already know I tend to get too few calories when I eliminate animal flesh. But I want the calories I get to be worth something. And I know the best way to maximize nutrients is to eat more than plenty fresh fruits and vegetables.

Still on the subject of food (I can go on for days about it), I’ve been reading about seitan (SAY-tahn). It’s a popular meat substitute that I’ve actually tasted before and enjoyed. I’m hoping my Kingman likes it as well and decides to stop cheating and eating meat here and there. Also I’m hoping my lil Prince will enjoy it in some meals. I haven’t figured out what will be fore dinner tonight. Something easy to prepare since I’m getting a bit tired. I’m sure the excess cheese I’ve been eating has something to do with that.

I’m looking forward to hosting dinner for a couple of the DIVAS. I plan to prepare my signature coconut ginger curry with shrimp. MMMM! I’m getting hungry just thinking of it. Already one of them has asked for a substitution with just veggies or chicken. I will likely just prepare chicken separate since my lil Prince is not a fan of the shrimp in that dish. OR maybe I’ll use seitan! That’s an idea. I wouldn’t even tell her I substituted. Mmmwaahahahaaha!!!

God, I know I have the discipline within me to make better choices. I want to show my gratitude to you by taking care of this body I’ve been blessed with.

I must confess

Blogger forgive me...

The peanutbutter cookies never came into existance this past week. That's ok because I was much better with resisting the treats at work. I gave in a couple of times though. Today, I'm doing good. No treats! I also slacked off on the push ups. I was doing so well!! I nibbled a really small piece of rosemary chicken that a friend made. I just wanted a lil taste.

The positive side of all of this is it's a new week. That means another chance to live right. Now I've been upping my meditation game. I bought my sage and it's hanging in the kitchen to dry out. At some point this eveing I'll burn my sage and say some prayers over the living space.

I cooked some delicious (vegan style) pinto beans in the slow cooker. That will be dinner tonight.

And my hair looks really fly. See I was going to do this whole bit where I keep my hair in "protective styles" for the cold months so I have a big full fro in the summer. But after taking the twists down from last week I realized I can't be doing all that. I wasn't feeling the look of those twists in the first place. And my fro has been calling me man! So I guess at this point I'm going to just fro it out for the most part and trim my ends as needed. I will do my best to wear a satin scarf to bed each night.

I've been moisturizing my scalp and hair with this delciious concoction a good friend of mine made. She calls it "Ginger Juices and Berries". It's a hair pomade that's solid but emulsifies in your hand. It smells devine and moisturies as it claims. You can check out her website at www.lavidagivenbynature.com . She's revamping the site, but if you send her an email she can hook you up! Tell her feeps sent ya!

At some point before I leave work today, I wan't to sort of put together a meal plan for the week so I can go to the grocery store in the next day or so. I also need to call the furniture place and confirm delivery of my new couch (screams with glee) for the end of this week.

My Kingman is such a hard worker. He's been dragging himself to work everyday to a place that he doesn't really like to help take care of this family. It's a blessing just to have him in my life.

Today I give thanks for a new oppurtunity to live better. I give thanks for forgiveness. And I give thanks for the blessings I have yet to recieve.

DIVAS

This past Friday I had the pleasure of meeting up with some ladies I've known since my college days. We attended a birthday celebration of one of their grandmothers. It was great seeing them again. I haven't seen most of them in a few years. Time has been so good to them all. Just beautiful ladies inside and out. It's a blessing seeing each of us grow, mature and come into our own.
(Left to right) Ngozi, Arfasse, MEEEE!, Funmilola, Funmilola. Olufunmilola seems to be a common Yoruba name. I think it's a beautiful name. When I get married Ngozi, Arfasse and the first Funmi will be my aso ebi girls!

This next picture is of myself and Arfasse. She is a self descrived Oromo Queen. Love that gal!

Finally a shot of all the DIVAS from that night.

My entire outfit is comprised of thrift store purchases. Why am I so proud of that fact? lol.

God has blessed me with loving and supportive friends. I think it's sad when a woman says she doesn't get along with other women. I value sisterhood so I work toward building solid friendships with women who are inspiring and loving.

I give thanks to my Creator for bringing positive people in my life.

Down on my knees

Yesterday, I went home and made some boca burgers for the family. Then the rest of the night I either crocheted or watched tv. Heroes was on and I love that show. After that I IM'd a little bit then went to bed.

I had a bad dream last night and I woke up all sweaty and icky. It's a little bit difficult at night sometimes since my Kingman works the 3rd shift. I love sleeping next to him and having someone there to wake up to when I have an unpleasant dream.

I think it's time to burn some sage in the new apartment.

Before bed I accomplished 5 solid push ups. But I had to do the modified push ups on my knees. Tonite I'll do more push ups. Maybe I can work my way up to 10. Then I'll do some stretching and breathing exercises to relax my body and mind. And meditate for a little bit. After my Kingman leaves from work the apartment is quiet and still. It's sort of my moment to myself. I will utilize this time for relaxation and centering myself before I sleep. Hopefully that will ward off that negative energy seeping into my slumber.

New ways of living

As I continue to incorporate positive health habits I realize the the old habits are harder to break than I give them credit for. Randomly snacking at work is such a mindless thing that I do. Little treats, here and there. The next thing I know I'm salivating over a huge cinnamon roll. Mmmm, with pecans....

I started keeping a recipe book full of tasty vegetarian and vegan dishes. I've got to keep eating and cooking interesting for myself and my family if we are to get back to a vegetarian diet. I want to start adding some treats to that book. At least I can control what goes into it. I can substitute honey, or soy milk where applicable. I can better limit my consumption of dairy products. At home it's actually quite easy to control these things, when eating food (or junk) prepared by outside sources It's a struggle. So at some point this week I'm going to kick this thing off by making some peanut butter cookies. It's basically a cup of brown sugar (i actually use a little less), a cup of peanut butter and one egg. They were a hit back when I was on my baking spree. So simple to make and my Lil Prince can join in on the fun.

It's also time to set my juicer out on the counter next to the blender. Fresh juice and smoothies for all! If I have those tools out in the open, next to my fresh fruits and veggies, I'm more likely to choose that over something less nutritious.

Finally my Kingman and I have started picking out our workout equipment. We have a large attic above our apartment just begging to be a workout room. We purchased some push up bars over the weekend.

In the next few weeks we plan to purchase a weight bag and stand, along with a pair of gloves for each of us. After that we want to get some free weights. Somewhere in there I'm going to buy a yoga/stretching mat. The goal is to get our home filled with things that promote a healthy way of life. It all seemed so overwhelming at first. But as we plan out these purchases and view them as investments in our health, it's becoming more of a reality.
Now... if I could just get past 2 push ups...

Leaving work behind

Today has been such a high stress day at work. I'm looking forward to walking out of that door and not thinking about work again until Monday. I'm going to enjoy these few days off while I visit with friends and family. I just want to RELAX in my Kingman's arms and give my little Prince hugs and kisses. I want to laugh with my sisters and sister-friends. I'm looking forward to it. Now I just need to get a little more work done during these last few minutes. After that... I'm leaving this work locked up in this drawer until Monday.

Wishing I was on vacation

This weekend we finally picked out some new living room furniture. But we haven't bought it yet. We put down a substantial amount and tucked another chunk of it away in savings. I must say I am very proud of how my Kingman and I are handling finances now. We are enjoying the fruits of our labor in the from of MONEY SAVED.

I've been visualizing overal prosperity for my family and seeing it come in bits and pieces.

Today is quite the Monday. So much work to do and I'm sitting here blogging. lol. I suppose I'll keep this entry short and get back to work.

I give thanks to my Creator for another day, and another chance at life.

Master Cleanse Journal: Day 3

Mood: On this morning I felt energized despite going to bed just after Midnight and waking at 6am. Later in the morning around 10:30am I was feeling sleepy. I don't know if this should be attributed to the fast or only 6 hours of sleep when I've been getting 8 lately. But throughout the day I felt progressively worse.

Digestion: The laxative tea hit me around 4am. I woke up to mild stomach cramps and knew what it was about. Headed to the bathroom for a productive movement. Laid back down. Awoke 30 minutes later to more intense cramps. Wasn't terrible but was very uncomfortable. What was worse, not much happened that go round. BOOO! I sat there in a little pain for a few minutes, went and laid back down. I woke up at 6am since I didn't plan on doing the flush. I've been peeing all day. But what else is new?

Skin: Looks great. Pimples are gone. The little bumps on my forehead are almost gone. I've been told my skin is glowing.

Weight: Now 188 lbs. My Kingman says my face looks smaller. It looks the same to me. My clothes are fitting looser though. But I lost 10lbs prior to the fast and that was already happening. I still don't want to lose much weight. The plan is not to lose more than 5lbs during the fast. I don't think I have much control over that. If by chance I lose 5 lbs before 10 days, that will be the end for me.

Other: I've been extremely hungry. I want to eat, but I don't know what. My stomach has been growling all day. We planned on breaking the fast tomorrow since it's my Kingman's birthday and our anniversary and he wanted to have dinner at this fabulous restaurant called The French Meadow. They have tons of organic and vegan options. He wanted the crab cakes.

I developed a headache around 1pm. I was intensely hungry at that time. I thought the 3rd day would be a breeze. But it's not. Later that evening we met with my Lil Prince's teachers to discuss his progress and stayed for the Scholar Showcase they hold their monthly. There was pizza.


And I ate two slices of cheese.


And my stomach revolted.


Once I got home I made a tea comprised of freshly squeezed organic lemon, maple syrup and cayenne to combat the mucous build up that was almost instantaneous. I felt a little ill but it passed. Since I was already tired I went to bed around 8:30pm. The fast is officially broken. I plan on doing it again in the future. Possibly for the New Year. And prayerfully for longer than 2.9 days.

Lessons learned:
1. Fasting doesn't always equal zero energy.
2. The 2nd and 3rd day are HARD.
3. Lemonade with grade B maple syrup is quite tasty and will be a staple in my household.
4. Never eat cheese right after breaking fast.
5. Salt water flushes are the devil. Especially if you use the wrong measurement.
6. I CAN go more than one day without chewing.

Master Cleanse Journal: Day 2

Mood: I'm not tired at all. Didn't wake up hungry. But as the day went buy I'd be fine one hour with no hunger. The next hour I'm thinking of all the food I'm missing out on. I REALLY contemplated throwing in the towel and getting me some soup or a veggie sandwich. But I didn't. I'm staying strong. But today was very hard in the hunger category.

Later in the day, once I was home, I ALMOST gave up. I really wanted to. I even put a piece of toast in my mouth but quickly spit it out before ingesting anything. My Kingman is sticking to it and this was MY idea. So I'll be strong and stick it out. One day at a time.



Digestion: I HATE the salt water flush (see below)! I went to bed last night earlier than usual. I woke up this morning around 4:30am realizing I had 30 more minutes before the alarm went off. So I just laid there resting. When the alarm sounded I got up and prepared my salt water flush. I want to throw up just thinking about the taste. I just can't take it anymore. Again I only got through half of the recommended amount. I drank it faster than yesterday but it took twice as long to take affect. So I was still on the toilet 2 minutes before it was time to leave. And even a while at work I just felt icky from the whole thing. Just a nasty feeling in my stomach, like I ate something bad. And there wasn't much solid waste eliminated either. So I'll for sure skip the flush tomorrow morning.


Skin: No change from yesterday during the morning hours. As the day went on I notice two distinct pimples forming. I was a bad girl and popped one of 'em. I'll treat it with some aloe to prevent scaring. Later in the day my skin started to feel tender. Kinda like a sunburn. I don't know what that was about.

Weight: 190 lbs. I know that seems like a lot. But you've seen my pics. I'm quite muscular in stature. I stand 5ft 7inches tall. I prefer to weigh in at 180lbs by the end of the year. Not so much for appearance, but so that I'm only carrying around 180lbs on my bones rather than 190. As previous posts indicate I've shed 7 lbs over the last 2 months just from eating better. I hope that I don't lose too much weight during this fast. I don't like the idea of rapid weight loss because I believe a person will gain it back just as rapidly. When it comes to weight loss I like slow and steady.

Other: After sharing my complete revulsion to the salt water flush I discovered I was putting waaaay too much salt in there.

*falls over*

I could have sworn I read the measurements right. But I was thinking tablespoon when it was teaspoon. And anyone who bakes knows there is a huge difference between the two. But I'm so turned off by the salt I still may not do it tomorrow. I need a break from sea salt. I rebuke it! lol



I had a comment that suggested I try a laxative tea. I'm strongly contemplating it. I bought some Smooth Move tea from Traditional Medicinal. I drank a cup this evening around 8pm. I'm praying to God that it hits me when I wake up so I don't have to be in the bathroom at work worried that someone will come in and witness what may occur.

One day at a time...

Tonight I'm up late putting tiny twists in my hair. I wish I would have started earlier in the day. But I'm determined to get these bad boys in before midnight.

Master Cleanse Journal: Day 1

Mood: I felt great this morning. No real hunger. I looked for treats for a quick second then realized I was doing that out of habit, not hunger. I'm hoping to get that habit of eating in check by the end of the cleanse/ fast. No big changes in my mood through out the day.

Digestion: The flush cleared my bowels out this morning. I've been peeing all day from the lemonade. No other bowel movements. Which is a cause for concern. The book says I should have them more often on the fast. In the back of my mind I wonder if the salt water flush is throwing things off.

Skin: Today my skin is ok. It's not radiant by my standards. I've put some honey and olive oil on for moisturizer. My nose gets oily by midday but a dab of a Kleenex takes care of that. I have these tiny bumps on my forehead. They have been there for a few days now. They don't itch, but I wonder if it's from not washing all the soap or conditioner off when I wash my hair or face. There is a slight flare up on my cheeks. Hardly noticeable to anyone else. But I feel it there. I plan to keep up with my normal, wash in the morning while I shower. But now I plan to get back to washing my face at nite, before bed. Then I'll slather on some aloe vera gel with tea tree oil over night.

Weight: I didn't even weigh myself. *shrugs*

Other: I really wanted food about an hour before I was done with work. By the time I was heading out the door and picking up my lil Prince I was good. No real desire for food at the end of the day either. All in all the first day wasn't bad at all.

Pre Cleanse Pics

The pictures are not of the best quality. However, that works in my favor since I'd prefer not to have half nakkie pictures of myself on the net. At least not ones that clearly reveal my identity. The pictures are just another way to monitor changes due to the fast. To be quite honest I'll be fine If I look the same after the fast. I've already dropped a few elle bees and I don't want to get too small for my own liking. A reduction in the belly would be welcome. More so a more flat appearance sans sucking in. When I suck in now I look fabulous! lol. The above pictures are of me NOT sucking in, but not poking out my belly either.

Cleanse starts tomorrow morning! I've already prepared my lemonade for drinking. I plan to wake up an hour early to do the salt water flush. Pray for me! lol. I don't want to be late because I can't leave the toilet.

"God bless me with the determination to get through this fast. Show me how strong I am."

Salt Water Flush (SWF) Trial run

Preliminary Results: Please, there has got to be a better way. I followed the directions and proportions for the salt water flush according to the Master Cleanse e book I previously linked. That stuff is very difficult to chug down. So difficult that I only was able to drink half of the suggested amount before starting to regurgitate it. So I stopped there. Right now I'm waiting for it to do it's work. I pray it happens soon because my mother will be here soon so that I can braid her hair :

*I'll update final results later today*

Final Results: Well I realize that I don't have to drink an entire recommended portion to empty my bowels. I was cool and very skeptical for about an hour. Then on the way to my moms house I had to clench because it was a working. Up until that moment my stomach felt VERY icky and my tongue tasted like salt. It was unsettling to keep tasting all that salt so I grabbed a banana on my way out the door to cover the salty taste. Well the salty taste didn't go away until the flush started working. And boy did it work!

I arrived at my moms and went straight for the bathroom. Without going into much detail it was as if I had diarrhea but minus any cramping, sweating or discomfort. Once the flush started working I found the experience OK and wouldn't mind doing that again if it wasn't for the disgusting salt water. lol. How do I get around that? My good friend who did the fast somehow managed to do the flush each morning. I do not see myself doing the flush each morning. I would likely do it in the evening once I'm home for the night. I'd have to wake up much earlier than I'd want to as to make sure the flush had run it's course (it took 45 min to 1 hr today) before venturing off to drop my little Prince off to school and heading to work.

Overall, I give the experience one thumb up. It did what it was suppose to do and I only drank half of the reccomended portion. But the taste was horrible.

Again, the official fast starts on Monday. I'm looking forward to it. And my Kingman says he's on board. I'm excited to get started!

Picture This

I've always love blogs that post pictures of what's going on with them. And craft blogs are a new personal favorite of mine. I'm a crafter myself and I have a lot of respect for other creators. I recently got in a few orders for crochet items from some good friends of mine. I'm so honored they liked my stuff enough to want to buy something. Here is a sneak peak at a hat for one of the sets. This one is made for a Goddess from Oromia. She wanted to incorporate her national colors. Then finally a picture of my recent creation to add to inventory. Check out some other items at http://public.fotki.com/Knotty-Gal-Knits/ .

Dear sleepy feeling,

Please stop. I have mucho work to do right now. That is all.

Love,

The one who needs to keep her eyes open.

Fall Cleaning

I plan to try my hand at the Mater Cleanse pretty soon. I've been mentally preparing myself for this over the last week or so. A good friend of mine just finished her 10 day fast and gave me daily updates on how she was feeling. She even took some before and after shots. I know many folks are facinated by this "lemonade diet". To me it has never been a diet. But a fast and detox. To each their own. My reasoning for trying the cleanse is to try and detox a bit and get my body and mind back on track.

I've read so much about the benefits of fasting and Have never gone past one day. I'm told the first day is the hardest, after that it gets better and easier. So I'm ready. I'm going to pick a start date soon and hopefully do a daily update on how I'm feeling and how my body reacts to the cleanse. I want the break down to be updates on my skin, digestion, mood and overall body.

Information on the cleanse can be found here. I'm using my lunch break today to read all 30 pages. From there I'll figure out any modifications I plan to make to the plan. But my prayer is I can follow it as written so I can really see how it works.

This weekend I plan to buy all the supplies. I may even start this next week. I pray for the courage to just DO IT. I was hoping my Kingman would come along on this journey with me. But he doesn't seem to mentally be ready for it. But I want to do this for me so I may go it alone.

God bless me with the strength to do what I know I need to do.

Saving Myself

Remembering to take care of me
Not looking toward others
Since the God in me is sufficient
Looking inward
Searching my soul when I'm lost
Saving Myself

Shedding Elle Bees

I'm down about 7lbs in the last 2 months. This is just from adjusting my eating habits. I already know what needs to be done to get my health back in check. It's just a matter of doing it. The last 2 weeks have involved cutting all animal flesh except fish (and sometimes shrimp) out of my diet. And my body thanks me for it. There is still some adjusting going on. But my skin was immediately elated and glows with gratitude.

I've come to the realization that my body does not appreciate regular consumption of animal flesh. I can live with that. I did for more than two years previously, and I'm ready to live out the rest of my years knowing and appreciating that realization.

"I will respect my body and treat it right"

Copy cat

I recently put my hair in a certain style. I chose the style because I felt like it fit me well enough, and was easy to do. It took me a long time to get my hair into this style so I was determined to keep up this style for as long as possible. A few days later I'm in the grocery store and it seems like every other woman has this style. I was partially mortified. I mean I usually pride myself in my individuality even when it comes to my hair.

But am I really THAT vain that I don't want to look like the majority of the female population? Is that vanity at all? It's definitely EGO getting in the way. I need to keep that in check. I'm gunna ride out this hair style like I originally intended.

When will chain letters die?

Or better yet, why do I loathe them so?

The ones I actually take the time to read and forward I'm careful to delete the message at the bottom that tries to guilt you into sending it. Who creates these things? And what joy do they get from sending them out to people? And why do people continue to send them? Do they have this deep worry that they WILL in fact have bad luck if they don't send it? Or is their belief in God really connected to an email with lil angels and smiley faces?

Going Batty

I normally post blogs like this in a different space. But I cannot access that blog from work so it shall go here. Forever tainting the good vibes I have initially put into this blog.

This weekend was uneventful for the most part. I managed to keep taking my drugs so that this sinus infection could go away. I put some twist extensions in my hair. And I look right crute too! And then... then it happened!

A BAT!

I decided Sunday night to go ahead and wash clothes for the week. Really I planned on washing my son's uniforms. I'm forced to do weekly washes because he only has 5 sets. So, I gather the clothes and head down to the basement, also known as the dungeon. As I near the door that leads to the laundry room I see a shadow flicker behind me. I turn my head quickly to see what is behind me.

Nothing.

So I convince myself it was just a moth by the light. Then as I put the key into the door I heard the flutter again but it was between my ankles. I shrieked and looked down. There was a bat flapping away on the ground in front of me.

I.bout.died.

I turned and ran back up all those stairs, almost slipped and fell, the whole while screaming and holding the basket of clothes. My Kingman appeared at the top of the stairs asking me what was wrong and what happened. By the time I ran back into the apartment I was almost breathless. But I had just enough breath to have the following conversation:

Kingman: it's just a BAT they don't bite
Me: yeah, huh they do (breathing hard)
Kingman: no they don't bats don't bite
Me: they do! they bit that dog man!
Kingman: what dog?
Me: CONjo!
Kingman: who? (looking real confroosed)
Me: dude, conjo! The bat gave him rabies man!
Kingman: who da hayle is conjo?
Me: the DOG!
Kingman: :
Me: the dog in da... stephen king! In the movie.
Kingman: (wtf look)
Me: (catching breath)
Kingman: (laughs his ass off)
Me: (nervous laughter)
Kingman: you are crazy
Me: lol. or Kujo, whatever the fugg his name is the bat gave him rabies so they BITE!

/end scene

Transitioning

A few nights ago I had such a beautiful dream. The details are not significant to anyone except myself. I tend to dwell on the "feelings" I sense in my dreams and build from there. The dream was a meeting where God and Myself were the attendees. I felt a tremendous sense of comfort. It was as if I was reuniting with God on a spiritual level that was for a time disconnected. And I took the opportunity to sincerely pray to my Creator and thank my Creator for the blessings in my life. And I asked God if a few of the things that I wanted would be mine if i asked. And God told me they were mine. I beamed.

I awoke the next day full of life, inspiration, and optimism. And by the end of the day I was blessed with the very things I had asked God for. God.IS.REAL.

Next week we will be signing a lease and moving into a new (to us) apartment. It is beautiful, well kept, approximately the same size as our current apartment. However, this new apartment is CHEAPER. I give thanks to my Creator for this blessing. After having a very stressful September, the month of October is looking quite promising. The rest of my life is promising.

God, thank you for these blessings! I accept them and appreciate them. I think you for telling me that the desires of my heart will be granted to me if I believe and trust that you will provide them. Thank you for you grace. Thank you for you love. Amen.

Young Grasshopper

I remember years ago in Sunday School the teacher said "when we ask God for patience, what we are really asking is for God to bring difficult things in our life to test our patience". That has always stuck with me. So each time I pray and I ask for more patience I almost hesitate thinking "ok Lord what as I REALLY asking for here? and will I be ready for it?"

This morning my co-worker was showing me her new plant and asking me how to take care of it. Everyone thinks I'm this plant lady. I simpley read the instructions on the side of the flower pot. At that point she noticed a cricket was sitting on one on the leaves and she freaked out. I gently cupped the cricket in my hand then took it outside and released it. I'm not even sure if there is some kind of message in all of that or what. But the incident just popped in my mind. I'm really feeling at peace today. I've feeling more optimistic about my near future. I've been planning and following through. So I'm sure that has something to do with the good vibes.

I've also been reading my bible. My Lil Prince has a children's bible that he likes to read out of lately. Last nite the passage he picked out really spoke to me. It was something I've read before and sort of lost site of it.

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version)
Love for Enemies
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


and Matthew 6:1-8
Giving to the Needy
1"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Prayer
5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

I do what I do not for acceptance or praise from other people. But for God. I need to remember that. Not that I've been attention seeking or anything like that. But I have been worried about what other people may think of me lately. And that worry is uneccessary because it really doesn't matter what other people think. I answer to my Creator.

Doing it

I thrive on planning and organization. I know that much of the discord in my life right now stems from lack of planning and organization. Or simply half ass planning and not following through. Procrastination grows from that. I just put it off because I don't have the organization to give me confidence to just DO IT. I'm starting my TO DO list today. I want it to eventually grow into a life goals list. But for today, I need to accomplish a few things:

*Pick up the Lil' Prince's uniform shirts from the school

*Follow up call and/or email apartment leads

*Clean the bathroom

I know I can accomplish all of these things before I lay down to rest. I plan to pick up the uniforms right after I pick up my Prince today following work. I plan to follow up on apartment leads as soon as I finish posting this. And I will clean the bathroom once I return home. My Kingman will either have to cook dinner himself or wait until I'm done.

I am starting small and simple for now. I feel better already.

I give thanks to my Creator for blessing me with another day. Another opportunity to spread Love and Light. Amen.

Positive Affirmations

I awoke this morning with words and affirmations spilling forth. I took a moment to breath and meditate on the positive affirmations the Creator was revealing to me.

"I am disciplined" inhale
"I will treat my body right" holding breath
"I will not put toxic things in my body" exhale

Throughout today I've been living these affirmations. And I've been building on these affirmations.

"I am conscious of what goes into my body" inhale

All of this seems to be the manifestation of my resolve to live a happier, healthier life. I was telling my family this weekend that I eat relatively healthy. But I know I can do better. I know I have done better. I will do better. This is my promise to myself.

"I will take care of you the best that I know how" exhale

Getting what I Deserve

Life is indeed cyclic. And up until this moment I believed that some of life's cycles are negative and some are positive. I'm realizing that it is my reaction to certain events that brings forth either positive or negative consequences in my life. I could very well STILL be off in this theory, but the thought process is necessary for me. I'm constantly trying to reconcile things in my mind and my spirit. Trying to bring forth some peace thorough balancing all aspects of my life. And I know this is a continuous effort I will need to put forth. However, there are times I forget that life is, in fact continuous and cyclic. And I, therefore must constantly LIVE it.

I'm not big on new year resolutions. But I tend to create resolutions for my life at any moment I receive clarity or understanding. I now resolve to do my best to live in the present and to enjoy each moment of now. I believe this will greatly reduce my worries about the future and regrets of the past. I also resolve to believe that I deserve the good things that happen and will happen in my life. Now that I have some clarity that it is not my life that is negative, but my reaction to things in my life that can bring forth negative consequences. I resolve to focus primarily on the positive things in my life. Because that is what I deserve.

suc·ceed: to thrive, prosper, grow, or the like

I remember reading a comment once and it had a profound affect on the way that I view some things. The comment basically said that the things that bother us so much about other people are usually the things we see in ourselves and don't like. After reading that, it just hit me that my irritation with certain people was largely driven on that theory. I then resolved to search my heart a bit more before directing negative thoughts and energy toward someone else's faults. I have plenty of my own, that's certain.

Sometimes I get highly irritated with my significant other. He shall henceforth be referred to as my King or Kingman. There are times when I'm not even sure why or where the negative energy is coming from. I have to be still and really think about why I get so worked up. Even the times where he is clearly the one who brought the negative energy, I'm disappointed in myself for allowing him to bring me there as well. And even more disappointed when I'm the one guilty of bringing on the negative energy.

There are things about him I just love. He's quite the romantic. When he's in a good mood he's my favorite person to be around in the whole world. And he does things with the best of intentions and a sincere heart. He encourages me in those quiet moments. He is affectionate. He loves me deeply and unconditionally. He loves my son.

Yet with all these amazing qualities, there are things (real and imagined) that make staying together a struggle.

strug·gle: a task or goal requiring much effort to accomplish or achieve

And a relationship requires constant effort. Some days more than others. However, I am committed. I believe in our ability to thrive, prosper, and grow together.

Metaphorically Speaking

Over to under
Enter your wonder baby
Submerge into me baby
And take me to higher

Submerge within the light
Illuminate my night
And let your atmosphere surround me
Submerge within the light all night
Till we become the sun

See if I'm breathing
Because I'm not sure
Tonight if I'm alive
Words are demeaning
They can't describe

Submerge within the light
Til we become the sun
~Maxwell~


Metaphorically speaking, this song embodies part of my life philosophy. The LIGHT is God. And God is love. For me, God and Love are interchangeable and one in the same. The love of God is the Light in my life. In my spiritual journey I pray that the Light of God is revealed to other people through me. The same way the sun gives us warmth. In order to live this way fully and honestly I am in constant pursuit of God. Submerged...

I.Breathe.Light.

I suppose Maxwell was hinting to something else when he eloquently composed this piece. The fabulous thing about music is that it lends itself to you. It allows the listener to interpret and receive it as they wish.

What does it mean to be submerged in Light?

sub·merge: To hide from view; obscure.
light: something that makes things visible or affords illumination.

After looking up the definitions I run into an oxymoron of sorts. So how is it we hide from view in something that makes things visible? Does submerging into the Light of God reveal who we really are? That sounds risky. But I want to bury myself in God's love/light and allow it to reveal what's in my heart. My struggle is staying spiritually connected God and everything Light touches. Which IS, everything. This universe.

Being spiritually connected to the universe gives me peace. When I'm in a peaceful state I am more receptive to wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I suppose I'm more receptive to revelations of Light. Inhale...

I.Breath.Light